Hey there Everyone, it’s Stevie here. Charlotte has been doing all the talking for coming up to four years soon, and you know what, I felt like it was time I got to have a say too, I’ve kept quiet for long enough now!
As you know, I’m Stevie, Stevie the Stoma, and I was born to the outside world on November 1st 2016. I mean, obviously, I have existed for a lot longer… I won’t say an age as I don’t want to upset Charlotte, but I was never really thought about before my birthday to the outside world. My neighbour, friend, sibling, god I don’t even know what to call him, but I do know one thing.. he was a right pain in the butt.. hahahaha pain in the butt, I’m pretty funny you know, I wonder why Charlotte has kept me quiet for so long.. Hmm.. Anyway, yeah he was a pain in the butt… Colon, Cody the Colon. What a trouble maker he was.. I’m happy he got evicted. You see, a lot of people don’t know, and a lot of people didn’t know, just how much trouble he was causing. He had blisters, they bled and were painful, he was becoming thin and swollen and eventually stopped doing his job. I remember one day Charlotte had to drink a whole load of this funny coloured water, before we entered a machine, and Cody the Colon was meant to let it flow through him too, but he was in such a huff. I ended up having to keep hold of it all, and damn, I nearly burst.. it almost felt painful.. I think it was not long after that last incident of not wanting to show any cooperation that he got evicted. Don’t get me wrong, I do find it intriguing with a tiny bit of drama, but Cody just took the piss.. well no he didn’t really actually.. that’s Betty the Bladder who does.. oh dear, sounds like I’m spiralling.. Aaanyway, it is thanks to Cody the Colon that I was born. On that day, November the 1st, this surgeon finally split us up. He got hold of my end and folded me inside out and attached me to the wall, the stomach wall. At the time I had no idea what was happening, I think the household newsletter must have gotten lost that month because no one, NOONE told me what was about to happen. Damn it was bright on the outside, I never realised. I know the surgeon was kind, but it really isn’t tones of fun being cut, pulled, prodded and stitched. I ended up pretty swollen and in a bit of a shock. The next few weeks was so odd.. I have never seen so many moons.. oh no wait, hang on, that’s the wrong word, what are they called now.. those round things with little round things on them attached to the top of the body.. hmm.. Faces, that’s it!! I have never seen so many faces as I did those first few weeks of my life in the outside world. Wow and aren’t faces an odd thing. I know I’m beautiful, but damn, they were all so fascinated I was getting shy, remember, I really wasn’t looking my best, all swollen, bleeding and with stitches attaching me to that wall, but never mind, I’m not really all that shy. Everyone wanted to see me, to measure me, to prod me.. I felt like a celebrity getting ready for some dress fitting. I say dress fitting, it’s these bags that Charlotte puts on me. In the beginning we tried so many different ones, but I just didn’t like them. It was very difficult letting Charlotte know that I didn’t like them, so instead, what I had to do to get her attention, was scream it out to her… I think I have heard Charlotte refer to this as a leak, I don’t care, it caught her attention at least, and eventually we have found the perfect fit for us. It’s soft, it’s light and I like it. Anyway, back at the start, after my birth, I think Betty was feeling a bit lonely. I think Betty the bladder and Cody the colon had a pretty close relationship and they got on better than I did. I think she was mourning Cody quite a bit, and didn’t appreciate the fact that I was getting attention the way I was, so she went in a mood and decided she didn’t want to cooperate either. I’m not sure if this was in hope that she too would be evicted and could live with Cody or what she was thinking.. but either way, she got attention, and we had a temporary guest called Catinca the catheter. Now Catinca was not a fun guest to have, she was so awkward and really drained Charlotte, haha drained… oooo, I mean, in a way it was nice because Charlotte was extra happy with me for some reason, I guess just because I am amazing, but yeah, I would have rather it just been us in the start but never mind, she only stayed for 4 weeks, then she left us alone again.
Being on the outside world is different to life on the inside with Cody the colon. I guess in one way I was more protected on the inside, but the last few years Cody really did make life difficult. Life on the outside, well it is so much easier, brighter and more fun. I have found that Charlotte is quite fond of showing me off, so I do get to see a lot, and I have understood that she does love me quite a bit too, even though I do like the odd prank here and there, it just can’t be helped haha. I have also got to see places I have never seen before, like beautiful beaches, I have been in the sea in so many different places, viking city in Sweden, I got to see the Colosseum in Rome, the Canals in Venice, I’ve even been to Pompeii, on the top of mountains in both Scotland and Wales, I was even out for a full day in London when Charlotte did some strange bike ride with lots of naked people, oh my list of adventures is long, and I’m pretty certain Charlotte is wanting to show me more places too, this really excites me.
My life is pretty good now I’m on the outside, I get attention, I get looked after, I get to have a say, and I am loved. What more could I ask for?
Anyway, I think I’m going to have a little rest now, and I’ll be back again (I hope) for another little story from me, because believe you me, I do have more.
Lots of love to you all,
Stevie the Stoma.